Signs and symptoms of use of club drugs can include: Use of hallucinogens can produce different signs and symptoms, depending on the drug. Feeling that you have to use the drug regularly daily or even several times a day, Having intense urges for the drug that block out any other thoughts, Over time, needing more of the drug to get the same effect, Taking larger amounts of the drug over a longer period of time than you intended, Making certain that you maintain a supply of the drug, Spending money on the drug, even though you can't afford it, Not meeting obligations and work responsibilities, or cutting back on social or recreational activities because of drug use, Continuing to use the drug, even though you know it's causing problems in your life or causing you physical or psychological harm, Doing things to get the drug that you normally wouldn't do, such as stealing, Driving or doing other risky activities when you're under the influence of the drug, Spending a good deal of time getting the drug, using the drug or recovering from the effects of the drug, Failing in your attempts to stop using the drug, Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you attempt to stop taking the drug, A heightened sense of visual, auditory and taste perception, Cannabis odor on clothes or yellow fingertips, Major cravings for certain foods at unusual times, Ongoing cough and frequent lung infections, An altered sense of visual, auditory and taste perception, Increased heart rate and blood pressure or heart attack, Problems concentrating or thinking clearly, Slowed breathing and reduced blood pressure, Feeling of happy excitement and too much confidence, Larger than usual pupils, the black circles in the middle of the eyes, Changes in heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature, Nasal congestion and damage to the mucous membrane of the nose (if snorting drugs), Mouth sores, gum disease and tooth decay from smoking drugs ("meth mouth"), Muscle relaxation, poor coordination or problems moving, Heightened or altered sense of sight, sound and taste, Increased or decreased heart rate and blood pressure, Greatly reduced perception of reality, for example, interpreting input from one of your senses as another, such as hearing colors, Flashbacks, a reexperience of the hallucinations even years later, A feeling of being separated from your body and surroundings, Increase in blood pressure and heart rate, Possessing an inhalant substance without a reasonable explanation, Reduced ability to keep impulses under control, Aggressive behavior or eagerness to fight, Appearing under the influence of drugs, with slurred speech, slow movements and poor coordination, Lack of awareness or inattention to surrounding people and things, Runny nose or nose sores (if snorting drugs), You continue using the drug despite the harm it causes, Your drug use has led to unsafe behavior, such as sharing needles or unprotected sex, You think you may be having withdrawal symptoms after stopping drug use, Has signs of a possible heart attack, such as chest pain or pressure, Has any other troublesome physical or psychological reaction to use of the drug. The books original publication in 1993 was a landmark moment, said Robertson. Drugs of abuse: A DEA resource guide/2020 edition. Did you encounter any technical issues? These changes can remain long after you stop using the drug. Published by Family Friend Poems November 2018 with permission of the author. Trainspotting was set in 1980s Edinburgh, and draws on Welshs first-hand experience of the drug scene in his hometown. https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/addiction-substance-use-disorders/what-is-a-substance-use-disorder. DrugFacts: Understanding drug use and addiction. This poem really cuts deep. Thats how obsessed he was. They come in powder and rock like form that is combined with other narcotics. What is naloxone and should everyone have access to it? She told my mom about her hunch, suggesting that I get tested for ADD. These drugs can cause severe intoxication, which results in dangerous health effects or even death. Other examples include ketamine and flunitrazepam or Rohypnol a brand used outside the U.S. also called roofie. It drew strong responses from both sides . It'll be a long flight if I keep hearing your voice in my head. They're often used and misused in search of a "high," or to boost energy, to improve performance at work or school, or to lose weight or control appetite. I do not say I'm in recovery, cuz I don't want to jinx myself. It is a very lively piece. . So many emotions, it's out of control. Naloxone DrugFacts. The damage isn't necessarily immediate, but if the smoker already has cancer that makes it much worse that he's craving it, and cancer is a lot darker and sadder than obesity. Theyre not in poverty because they spent all their money on drugs theyve never had money.. As time passes, you may need larger doses of the drug to get high. Addiction has a variety of meanings depending on what your viewpoint of addiction. The last two decades have seen at least one positive change, said Smith: The way politicians talk about drug users. Now, he said theres a mass importation of plastic tubs full of a pharmaceutical grade benzodiazepines and thats being pressed into palms locally by criminal gangs.. There are no reasons. "It seemed so normal at first, like something everyone was doing. National Institute on Drug Abuse. I am an addict living one day at a time. I find my seat in aisle B, on the plane heading away from you. (I mean, I don't approve of murder, even in this sort of case, but I approve of the plot twist. While the use of drugs like cocaine and heroin is in a state of decline in certain parts of the world, prescription drugs abuse is on the rise (UNODC, 2013). Accessed Sept. 2, 2022. All Rights Reserved. We got a bitch ass sprog here thinking dissing someone's comment is really going to get us somewhere. https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/principles-drug-addiction-treatment-research-based-guide-third-edition/preface. The cabin is hot and sweaty and crowded, and I suddenly feel claustrophobic, as if the white walls have closed around me like a coffin. Alcoholic Monologue. Published by Family Friend Poems November 2016 with permission of the author. Landry, who was a promising soccer player decided she was going to be a heroin addict for the rest of her life and thats they it is. I really enjoyed reading this, it made me reflect back to what I have done to my son. The power of addiction is a horrible disease. March 5, 2021. Worse than the purest smack, you are for me, and I had only replaced drug addiction with my addiction to you. I still do it to this day. Theres an appetite within Scottish culture for depressant drugs, he added. All script prices are the same, whether paper, digital, or photocopied. Scotlands death rate far outstrips the closest countries Sweden and Norway and is more than three-and-a-half times the rate in the United Kingdom as a whole, the report found. Never did I think that trying pot would have a domino effect. Touched by the poem? https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/pediatrics/problems-in-adolescents/drug-and-substance-use-in-adolescents. The heroin addiction nation is a self numbing injection and dry approach to have the mind under the state of the greatest feeling of great happiness leaving the pain behind under the spell of heroin. Decreased or increased appetite. sweat and bones a lovers throne, I chose to hang with undesirable people, and was introduced to Marijuana, LSD, Ecstasy, PCP, Cocaine, Heroin and eventually what became the love of my life, the prescription painkiller Morphine. Drug abuse is on the rise. Because it was so obvious that his hands were never those of a lover. Most people call me "Crack" but I'm Jum to you National Institute on Drug Abuse. (Photo by James Glossop / POOL / AFP) (Photo by JAMES GLOSSOP/POOL/AFP via Getty Images). Meyer uses setting, character and conflict to illustrate the devastating effects of addiction on the individual. Crosstown Clinic is an addictions treatment clinic with an interdisciplinary team that cares for over seventy clients with substance-use disorder. These are the effects of withdrawal after a long, sweet hit of you. I continue to run. AP. Never estimate the poppy flower for its power that withholds the fiends to their mentality enduring the euphoria enslavement of the mind that contained for many centuries. Touched by the poem? I will never let you sleep or put your mind at ease, This kid had a better childhood than others and family. What the report doesnt examine is additional deaths from drug-related causes such as violence, suicide, HIV infection, Hepatitis C and lung cancer which could number 1,000 a year, said Robertson. Diagnosis. When I needed someone you were the one. I find my seat in aisle B, on the plane heading away from you. CNN Sans & 2016 Cable News Network. Aubrey believes Ivan can speak with the dead, which he denies. Whether it be gambling, drugs, or some other kind of substance abuse, your life can quickly spin out of control if you aren't careful. (Such as a lifelong chain smoker who now has lung or throat cancer craving a cigarette. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. I'm hungry for your fury, I will never, ever go back to that world again." 2. No smoking they seem to plead in your voice. It sounded familiar, like I had heard it before. But it ruined my life. For others, particularly with opioids, drug addiction begins when they take prescribed medicines or receive them from others who have prescriptions. Family Friend Poems provides a curated, safe haven to read and share Loving. The horn has already sounded and Im still running. And it's obvious I should to quit. He even left his wife and kids. It led me to try harder and more addictive substances ultimately turning my life upside down. lissome sensual energy It's sad that I let myself go to my addiction because I lost everything. However, feel free to browse tips and download any public domain (free) monologues on our site. I had to follow his rules in order to stay put into his globe that deteriorated me. Or are you waiting for me to say that I didn't mean to do it, that I was only acting on instinct and that regret consumed my thoughts like algal bloom in an unkempt pond? Now the tone has been: This is all of our problem and in a way, all of our responsibility.. This book is basically about a young man who got addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually recovered in the end after so many failures. health information, we will treat all of that information as protected health The queasy feeling in my stomach Classified an action-comedy, Pineapple Express is about a process server and his marijuana . for Drug addiction (substance use disorder), Mayo Clinic on Incontinence - Mayo Clinic Press, NEW The Essential Diabetes Book - Mayo Clinic Press, NEW Ending the Opioid Crisis - Mayo Clinic Press, FREE Mayo Clinic Diet Assessment - Mayo Clinic Press, Mayo Clinic Health Letter - FREE book - Mayo Clinic Press, Mayo Clinic Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences, Mayo Clinic School of Continuous Professional Development, Mayo Clinic School of Graduate Medical Education, Book: Mayo Clinic Family Health Book, 5th Edition, Newsletter: Mayo Clinic Health Letter Digital Edition. Does Your Health Insurance Cover Treatment? The pieces started to come together. "Addiction Talk" is an award-winning online talk show dedicated to sharing the personal stories of celebrities, influencers and everyday people impacted by addiction. And when you ask me what paper thin airplanes were piercing through my head as I awoke him from his dreamless slumber only to gash the stainless steal blade seven times to his heart, I can only tell you one thing. Gilman's play "Spinning Into Butter" offers a couple of dramatic monologues for an adult actor. Understanding Withdrawal & Detox by Substance. Pineapple Express (2008) Named after a real cannabis strain, Pineapple Express is considered one of the top movies about drug addiction that glamorize marijuana use. Nae, but when Im here in this city with you Im driven to the sick delusion of a junky: that I could stay in this high with you forever. Here are some examples. In particular, the play deals with racism in America and a character's reckoning with her own. You will be able to download the available parts immediately after your credit card transaction is approved. Dependence on drugs can create a number of dangerous and damaging complications, including: The best way to prevent an addiction to a drug is not to take the drug at all. You don't even see the things that go by. At one point in my life I shared the negative connotations associated to drug abuse with the vast majority of the population of this country and the society in which I live. Maybe in the morning theyve been using heroin, and then in the afternoon theyve been using benzodiazepines, and its the combined effects of those drugs that kills people, he said. Abuse, Auditions, Classroom Use, Mental Health Issues, Monologue, sexual abuse, Colleges, Depression, High School, Minimal Set, Self-esteem. Others experiment with all sorts of lifestyle choices and nothing seems to stick to them. Let me introduce myself to you Anyways, he had so many advantages and he tuned into a drug/alcohol addict which i couldnt understand why at first. Uncoordinated movements. Check out these best-sellers and special offers on books and newsletters from Mayo Clinic Press. Addiction Talk is an award-winning online talk show dedicated to sharing the personal stories of celebrities, influencers and everyday people impacted by addiction. Accessed Sept. 2, 2022. We never caught up with the rest of the elements, so we were never even a part of the main effort. Published by Family Friend Poems October 2008 with permission of the author. That very young, very dynamic, very aggressive marketing of very pure heroin and all the consequences of that.. But experts say theres also a more complicated back story to Scotlands drug problem, involving generations of deprivation, government underinvestment and shifting supply chains. That youd come with me, back to that shitehole? It sits on the razor's edge, 3rd ed. Im the light in the mall when the power is gone We strive to remain accessible to "real people, real life" while also providing a resource to students, teachers and all those who love popular poetry. During the first few days, I have learned Crosstown clinic began as a study to assess long-term opioid medications effectiveness, also known as the SALOME trail, to test whether hydromorphone, a licensed medication, is as good as diacetylmorphine, the active ingredient of heroin, at assisting people who suffer from chronic opioid addiction and who are not benefiting sufficiently from other treatments. You're just a little thirteen-year-old furfag, grow the fuck up already. 18 Monologues from Published Plays. King Cocaine has come out smoking, (7), The time has come to say goodbye A valid email address is required. All other content on this website is Copyright 2006-2023 FFP Inc. All rights reserved. Boris Johnson continued a trip to Scotland despite an official testing positive for Covid-19. Joys media background includes serving as an anchor/health reporter for a CBS affiliate, producing stories that aired on Entertainment Tonight and covering former President Bill Clintons impeachment hearings. Opioids are narcotic, painkilling drugs produced from opium or made synthetically. Psychedelics and cognitive behavioral therapy might help people change behaviors as they reinvent their perceptions of themselves. Scotland has around 60,000 problem drug users, and around 40% of these are in treatment at any one time, according to the Scottish Drugs Forum. His monologue about how people who do things they "deem unforgivable" is one of the most powerful parts of the special, as he rants about how "the world keeps getting worse" precisely because of that mindset. Although Robert remains something of a mystery, his impact on the others is undeniable. Heroin comes in many forms for addicts to enjoy in their own way. built up anger you want to hold near. In the early 1980s there was a wave of Afghan and Iranian heroin that came into western Europe, which was very pure by anybodys standards, said Robertson. These painful plantations mass produced statements that I trusted as fact. United States Drug Enforcement Administration. Our ePlays consist of short plays for student. You are not alone. You may opt-out of email communications at any time by clicking on Previously, people would steal or, as Smith puts it, borrow benzodiazepines from others who had been legitimately prescribed them. The pounding in my head "And when you ask me what paper thin airplanes were piercing through my head" This is only a suggestion, but to me, the metaphor just didn't feel quite right there. All rights reserved. We went back to FOB McHenry after the Medevac arrived. My wife and I have been married for 15 years and been together for 17 years. You will receive your emailed script within one business day. Possible signs that your teenager or other family member is using drugs include: Signs and symptoms of drug use or intoxication may vary, depending on the type of drug. 18 contemporary monologues from published plays for actors, creatives, filmmakers and teachers. Its death rate was 318 per million of the population (aged 15-64), in 2019. Accessed Aug. 17, 2022. Published by Family Friend Poems February 2009 with permission of the author. Sadly, there was only three choices, her grandma, my aunt Gloria, and myself. Synthetic cannabinoids, also called K2 or Spice, are sprayed on dried herbs and then smoked, but can be prepared as an herbal tea. August 17, 2022 MB Team. I just got an Lee-Enfield rifle and it's a pretty nice gun, it can hold 10 bullets. 2019; doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01052. One day when I was young, I heard a knock at my door. The smoke starts to swirl If you asked me even two weeks ago how my life was I would have said good. Monologue of a Drug Addict Julia Fina "It can't be in the air because I don't smell it anymore but I'm sure it's summer even though there's snow on the ground. The common denominator is that it can ruin your life. The number of lives lost to drugs is unacceptable, each one a human tragedy, Sturgeon wrote on Twitter. There was a hole exactly where the TC seat was. 18 contemporary monologues from published plays for actors, creatives, filmmakers and teachers. I've been down that road too many times before, This content does not have an English version. Cookie Notice There are many things that one can become addicted to. I chose not to choose life. There are some people that are born with an addictive personality. Opiates such as heroin and methadone, and benzodiazepines a type of sedative were the most commonly found drugs. His death cert. Now it is up to him claw his way out of the hole he has dug. I love this line. "And on those nights that i did not have his hands, they would possess my entire being." I mean people should have the right to smoke a cigarette if they want, Im a pale imitator of a boy in the sky I have a small daughter and I struggle to support her financially and mentally. XDLove what you're doing with this piece.However, there are WAY too many rhetorical questions in your opening paragrpah. https://nida.nih.gov/drug-topics/criminal-justice/science-drug-use-resource-justice-sector. Accessed Sept. 2, 2022. I like this poem, reminds me of my alcohol addiction when I was young. I let them cradle my neck until the shade of my face dimmed and they felt satisfied. Im itching for a fag, or something stronger, to ease my parting sorrows, but we havenae even reached altitude, and theres these signs on the cabin walls which loudly and accusatorily remind me of my promises. The dramatic monologues tell us a great deal about each speaker and the terrors of drug abuse. Sudden death can occur even after a single exposure. Mayo Clinic. each others smoky hearts, Drug abuse can also lead to dependence and withdrawal symptoms, even in the short-term: Dependence: People can become physically dependent on a substance fairly quickly. In Cole Meyers short story, Addiction the narrator is a struggling teen addict and his addiction continues to worsen as he ages. Touched by the poem? Also the thing on destroying your lungs/cancer there way more other things that cause cancer, but you don't see the government trying to stop it, know do you? Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. Published by Family Friend Poems August 2010 with permission of the author. I will always be here no matter where you go. I chose to hang with undesirable people, and was introduced to Marijuana, LSD, Ecstasy, PCP, Cocaine, Heroin and eventually what became the love of my life, the prescription painkiller Morphine. Share your story! Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson gestures as he meets officers during a visit to the Scottish Police College at Tulliallan near Kincardine, Scotland on August 4, 2021, on his first visit to Scotland since a pro-independence majority was returned at the Holyrood election in May 2021. Joy has been engaging audiences as far back as she can remember, including a theatrical performance at New Yorks famed Apollo Theater. I felt her smother me And the worst part was that I believed those hands. Please stop all of this nonsense please I beg you my son. I've been waiting for your call. Well, me I have just been trying to stay healthy and keep my head high so I can make it back to the only thing I have and thats you all my family. It led me to try harder and more addictive substances ultimately turning my life upside down. Scotland has the highest drug-death rate per capita in Europe. information is beneficial, we may combine your email and website usage information with , painkilling drugs produced from opium or made synthetically 's sad that I get tested ADD..., Sturgeon wrote on Twitter remember, including a theatrical performance at New Yorks famed Apollo Theater to... Many rhetorical questions in your voice in my head, which results in dangerous health effects or death! Actors, creatives, filmmakers and teachers testing positive for Covid-19 your email and website information! Is really going to get us somewhere by addiction dramatic monologues tell us a great deal each. / AFP ) ( Photo by James GLOSSOP/POOL/AFP via Getty Images ) all script prices are same! Comes in many forms for addicts to enjoy in their own way of that thinking! Addiction when I was young McHenry after the Medevac arrived a time who have prescriptions Poems February 2009 permission. Your email and website usage information Im still running in recovery, cuz I do n't to. Lung or throat cancer craving a cigarette where the TC seat was of a lover my mom about her,. A landmark moment, said Smith: the way politicians talk about users. People impacted by addiction own way I heard a knock at my door drug users Sturgeon on! Is unacceptable, each one a human tragedy, Sturgeon wrote on Twitter, free... 'Re just a little thirteen-year-old furfag, grow the fuck up already enjoyed reading this, it ruin... Dea resource guide/2020 edition way out of the hole he has dug way out of the.. To enjoy in their own way to browse tips and download any domain... Heading away from you you my son now the tone has been: this is all this! This piece.However, there was a landmark moment, said Smith: the way talk... Monologues tell us a great deal about each speaker and the terrors of drug.. Only replaced drug addiction begins when they take prescribed medicines or receive them from others who have prescriptions decades! Treatment Clinic with an interdisciplinary team that cares for over seventy clients with substance-use disorder 're doing with this,... Impact on the razor 's edge, 3rd ed ease, this content does not have an version! My mom about her hunch, suggesting that I let myself go to my addiction because I lost.! Have his hands were never those of a lover remains something of a mystery, his on! Images ) ago how my life was I would have said good everyday people impacted by.... Addicts to enjoy in their own way ultimately turning my life upside down Robertson... Are for me, and myself our site interdisciplinary team that cares over! Pot would have a domino effect for depressant drugs, he added Friend! His rules in order to stay put monologues about drug addiction his globe that deteriorated me ( Such as and... Do n't even see the things that one can become addicted to has come out smoking, 7. Commonly found drugs on drug abuse never caught up with the rest of the author include! Theatrical performance at New Yorks famed Apollo Theater bitch ass sprog here dissing! These best-sellers and special offers on books and newsletters from Mayo Clinic Press never those of mystery. For addicts to enjoy in their own way, cuz I do n't want to jinx.. For others, particularly with opioids, drug addiction with my addiction to you particularly opioids... Or put your mind at ease, this content does not have an English.... My seat in aisle B, on the others is undeniable use only in America and character. This content does not have his hands, they would possess my entire.. Day at a time has a variety of meanings depending on what viewpoint. Within Scottish culture for depressant drugs, he added that I let myself go to my addiction you. Produced statements that I get tested for ADD things that go by kid had a better than!, sweet hit of you was a landmark moment, said Robertson I heard a at... Sleep monologues about drug addiction put your mind at ease, this content does not an! Play deals with racism in America and a character & # x27 ; ll be a long, hit., suggesting that I did not have his hands, they would monologues about drug addiction my entire.. Is an addictions treatment Clinic with an interdisciplinary team that cares for over seventy clients with substance-use disorder,... Dead, which he denies even a part monologues about drug addiction the drug scene in his hometown years and together... To browse tips and download any public domain ( free ) monologues on our site 're just a little furfag. Decades have seen at least one positive change, said Smith: the way politicians talk about drug.! This kid had a better childhood than others and Family by Family Friend Poems August with. From you valid email address is required business day it sounded familiar, I! Meyers short story, addiction the narrator is a struggling teen addict and his addiction to! Emailed script within one business day been together for 17 years smack, you are me. I will never, ever go back to that shitehole drug users have been married for 15 and... Your life, filmmakers and teachers and draws on Welshs first-hand experience of the author also roofie. Other narcotics hands were never those of a mystery, his impact on the heading! Character and conflict to illustrate the devastating effects of withdrawal after a single copy of materials.: a DEA resource guide/2020 edition after your credit card transaction is approved them. You sleep or put your mind at ease, this content does not an... Drug addiction begins when they take prescribed medicines or receive them from others have... The U.S. also called roofie to jinx myself meanings depending on what your viewpoint of addiction on the individual the! Did I think that trying pot would have said good 'm hungry for your fury, heard! Drugs, he added addiction when I was young, very dynamic, very aggressive marketing of very pure and... Way, all of our responsibility I 'm hungry for your fury, I will never, ever back! Been: this is all of our responsibility the way politicians talk about drug users to put! With opioids, drug addiction begins when they take prescribed medicines or receive them others! Can ruin your life everyday people impacted by addiction many forms for addicts to enjoy in own. Clinic with an addictive personality want to jinx myself gun, it can ruin your.. Ever go back to that world again. & quot ; 2 cognitive behavioral therapy might people... Via Getty Images ) published plays for actors, creatives, filmmakers teachers! As he ages does not have an English version is combined with narcotics! Crosstown Clinic is an award-winning online talk show dedicated to sharing the personal stories of celebrities influencers! The Medevac arrived been married for 15 years and been together for 17 years many times before this. For over seventy clients with substance-use disorder of withdrawal after a long, hit... Globe that deteriorated me Institute on drug abuse has dug for others, with! The author 'm hungry for your fury, I will never, ever go back to that?... That world again. & quot ; 2 engaging audiences monologues about drug addiction far back as can. Ultimately turning my life was I would have said good the same, whether paper,,... Has been: this is all of our responsibility is combined with other.! To worsen as he ages already sounded and Im still running the tone been. Narcotic, painkilling drugs produced from opium or made synthetically come with me monologues about drug addiction and myself of.... Substances ultimately turning my life upside down my alcohol addiction when I was young xdlove you! Doing with this piece.However, there are way too many times before, kid... To read and share Loving people impacted by addiction done to my son email and website information... To say goodbye a valid email address is required pure heroin and methadone, benzodiazepines! I have been married for 15 years and been together for 17 years rights! Possess my entire being. and it 's sad that I get tested for ADD you monologues about drug addiction for,... Were the most commonly found drugs had only replaced drug addiction begins when they take medicines. Me and the terrors of drug abuse people change behaviors as they reinvent their perceptions of.... Long after you stop using the drug really going to get us somewhere sounded and Im still.... Check out these best-sellers and special offers on books and newsletters from Mayo Clinic Press the personal stories celebrities. The plane heading away from you first, like something everyone was doing in their way., sweet hit of you me, and myself really going to get us somewhere interdisciplinary team that cares over! Use only I find my seat in aisle B, on the individual will always be here no matter you! Safe haven to read and share Loving can occur even after a long, sweet hit of.... Led me to try harder and more addictive substances ultimately turning my life was I have... Are many things that one can become addicted to an English version of the author the time has to. Monologues tell us a great deal about each speaker and the worst part was that I let go... You stop using the drug day at a time your life variety of meanings depending on what your viewpoint addiction... Them cradle my neck until the shade of my alcohol addiction when I was....

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